my life

All those years in college gave me good preparation for what laid ahead. Little did I imagine that all those nights spent at Starbucks studying would be a foreshadowing of my life to come—telecommuting. It’s a skill that requires obsessive concentration and the ability to filter out ambient distractions.

Living in California has imbred a kind of presumption in me and probably most people that illegal workers are the “Mexicans” . As with all blanket statements, they’re usually wrong and the same is true for this assumption. One group of these illegal workers are international students who come here and are expected to pay a tuition 2-3x a US Citizen would pay, probably even more once exchange rates (relatively speaking) are figured into the equation. On top of that, they are only allowed to work on campus and part-time, which is probably only at minimum wage. With such limited legal options, many work under the table performing jobs paid by the hour.

My girlfriend is in this situation, unable to work legally and not fortunate enough to have parents that can support her. She’s managed to keep a steady job, but not without incident. Her last job was at one of the hundred mobile phone shops in K-Town. Her employer, a first generation Korean guy had generally always respected his employees, but was uniformly late in paying them. It got to a point when she couldn’t pay her bills on time and risked hurting her credit. She made the decision to leave and hope to get paid the $1,800 owed to her later when her employer had the money. But when her boss found out, he lost it. He said “If you ever come around  here again, I’ll call the INS! You can forget about your pay check.” He seemed to think it was his right to pay her and not his obligation. I am sure the threat is an idle one, but it drives home the point. What rights does she have?

Turns out, there are many organizations representing illegal workers. For that, I am grateful. One in particular, respresents Korean laborers and has been very helpful to my girlfriend. By advising her of her rights, informing her how little legal power he has over her, she was able to get paid in the end… albiet 3 weeks later. She had kept insisting that he give her some money. He wrote her a bad check, that when she cashed, bounced twice. But that was his fatal mistake. It gave her all the bargaining power she needed to take him to small claims court. He conceeded he was a jerk and gave her cash! The funny thing is, he wanted the bounced check back. As if that would protect her? Bank records are immutable and photocopies hold up well enough in court.

My good friend Sandy sent me this link. It’s really something I believe we should all live by.

http://love.msn.com/loveover40/articles/article6.asp

Want a long-term, satisfying relationship? If so, you need to do more than meet interesting people. To save yourself from the confusion and frustration that accompany dating, you need to apply some relationship truths to your search
for a mate.

Here are the top 10 truths I’ve gathered from clients:

1. Until you resolve past relationships, you are not free to have future relationships. Can’t seem to meet the right person? You likely have unresolved past relationships holding you back from attracting people.

2. If you feel empty, trying to date and find a mate will most likely make you feel even emptier. Desperately looking for a relationship, with some part of your life on hold? People sense neediness and stay away.

3. True sexual intimacy has very little to do with how the body looks. Rather, it has everything to do with emotional intimacy and trust. No matter what size or shape your body, you can still be loved. People feel attracted to a wide range of body types and sizes.

4. It’s much easier to be yourself than to be what you think others want you to be. If you are not being yourself, you are doing yourself a disservice. Our pretenses never really fool anyone. People somehow see right through us anyway.

5. A relationship with a foundation of dishonesty, deception or the withholding of information is like a house of cards. As such, it will fall at the slightest provocation. One of the main reasons relationships fail is that the two people can’t be honest with each other. It is not that most people lie, but that most people do not know how to tell the truth about their feelings and needs.

6. Being a people-pleaser is not an effective way to create good relationships. Acting for others is actually just an effective way to be taken advantage of. Many singles give their potential partners too much in order to entice them into the relationship. People rarely stay in relationships because of what they can get from you. Giving over the top only buys love and affection on a temporary basis.

7. Until you realize that a great relationship is created by who you are, you won’t have one. It is your most natural, authentic self that will attract the relationship you want. It is again who you are in that same authentic way that will give you the power to shape a relationship to be infinitely fulfilling.

8. Until you love yourself enough to take care of your needs, no one else will. People who look for a relationship to fulfill needs and hopes are looking for heartache. Dating and relationships are not about fulfilling needs — that is
what friends, family and you are for.

9. What people do to you is rarely about you and is almost always about them. Don’t take the actions of others personally. This is a profound truth because once you grasp it, your relationships will be transformed. Think about it.

10. This is not a dress rehearsal — this is your life and your relationships in progress. Start today to create your life the way you want it to be.

2002 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.